Welcome to "Between the Stones": Pen Light's Blog for Farmers!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Hello, Farm Family! I am so excited that you have decided to join me in exploring how farmers can flourish...even when times get hard. In this first post, I'd like to introduce myself and the blog. When you're done reading, I hope you'll introduce yourself as well!

What's with your name?

This should be an easy question to answer, but you will soon discover that "easy" is a term that rarely applies to me! Growing up on a diversified, multi-generational farm in Rhode Island, I went by "Kristen."

I was not happy with that name and tried desperately to create a nickname for myself. I suggested a wide range of alternatives: Kris, Kristy, Krista. All were decisively squashed by my mother, who asserted, "We named you 'Kristen.'" I still can't quite accept that rationale, since both my brother and sister went by shortened handles, which they heartily disliked!

I will be forever grateful to my freshman year college roommate who finally took pity on me and gave me the nickname "K." In those years, my nickname took on a life of its own. The spelling variations included Kay and Kaye, before I agreed that her original intent of "just the letter K" was perfectly me.

It's not easy "changing" your name midway through life. Most of my college friends know me as K (or one of its variant spellings), except those who met me before my rechristening. My family and older acquaintances (including much of my extended farm family) know me as Kristen.

You may be wondering what on earth this has to do with farming. I'll be honest: absolutely nothing.

I just wanted to clear the air for those of you who've known me for a while and may be confused when you see a solitary "K" at the bottom of my newsletters and emails. I also want to assure you that when you contact me--which I truly hope you will--you can call me whichever of the two names you prefer.

Is there any farm talk in this blog post?

Yes! Right now! There are three great loves in my life, and agriculture is one of them. (The other two are words and the Word. You can discover them on our sister site: pen-light.org.)

As a fifth-generation farm kid, farming is literally embedded in my DNA. My childhood was spent picking vegetables, running our farm stand, and rambling through our cow pasture with my siblings.

My great-great-grandfather's generation had dairy cows. By the time I was growing up, we had two milking cows, a barn full of calves and replacement heifers, and a bull (sporadically...until they got too feisty and needed to be "rehomed").

Cows were lovely, but I was infatuated with horses. All I wanted was a horse. My dad and grandfather derided them as "hay-burners," though, so there was no Flicka or Black Beauty for me. Instead, I used my vivid imagination to transform our calves into steeds with an old halter, a lunge whip, and a set of grooming tools.

In high school, my parents, siblings, and I headed to New York's southern tier where we took up dairy farming. The rhythm of dairy life was a little more balanced than the vegetable production we had done in Rhode Island, but the first year was still a doozy.

The first month in, our somatic cell count was so high that the milk plant could have shut us down. We tested and found we had about half a dozen different strains of mastitis. Half the herd was out of the tank to be treated at once. Not a great start!

We eventually identified the culprit: stray electricity.

If you've never tried milking a herd of Holsteins who are getting electrocuted every time they let down their milk, you've never lived!

I can't tell you how many times I was kicked, pinned, jumped on, and laid upon.

Once we got that solved, the somatic cell went into the premium range, and my dad, brother, and I could get through an entire milking without fearing for our lives! I have more such tales, but I'll save them for later posts!

When I went off to college, my parents sold the dairy farm to return to the family farm in RI. I did finally get horses at the age of 28: 2 aged Belgians no longer suitable for working on Amish farms. A few years later I upgraded to a sleek team of black Percherons and was certain I had died and entered horse heaven.

About this time, I started working as the Ag Extension Agent at the University of Rhode Island. I had the enviable job providing technical support to the state's commercial vegetable, fruit, and livestock farmers on all aspects of crop production and farm planning.

One marriage, two children, one divorce, and several career turns later, I founded Pen Light, LLC so I could use all my diverse experiences, training, and skills to support some of my favorite people in the world: my extended farm family.

How exactly do you support farmers?

I am so glad you asked! There are LOTS of stressors in farming. Some we can control. Some we just plain have to weather. (Pun fully intended!)

I provide farmers like you with skills you can use and adapt across every facet of your farm life to identify and manage the root causes of all your farm stress so you can create the satisfying, efficient, and peaceful farm life you want.

That's why this blog is called "Between the Stones." The challenges in our life can feel like obstacles that we have to remove before we can really enjoy our lives. This blog takes a different approach: our rocky experiences can actually help us grow more vibrantly than ever.

• Hard experiences can help us recognize dangerous or unhelpful situations so we can protect ourselves from them in the future. It's like a horse who has learned to wait out a storm on the lee side of a boulder.

• Stones can provide the very conditions we need to grow to our potential. Alyssum or creeping phlox, for example, don't like wet feet. They will languish and die in rich soil, but they thrive on and around rocks.

• Learning how to overcome the rocky situations builds our strength and resilience. I spent many a spring day picking rocks out of our fields to avoid breaking our equipment and feeding crows with our corn seed. Not fun, but it taught me perseverance and determination...and made me REALLY strong!

That sort of growth doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't happen automatically. It takes effort...and sometimes we need a little guidance in the process.

What does that look like? Well, every farmer and farm operation is different. That's why I start with helping you redefine your personal goals and needs.

Too often, farmers put all their energy into caring for the farm and meeting the farm's needs. The farmer ends up drained, and eventually the farm does too. If we make a small shift and start by meeting your needs first, you are able to recharge yourself and funnel that extra energy into a farm life you truly enjoy, even through the challenges.

Once we put you back at the center of your farm operation, we realign your daily activities to meet your personal and farm goals. Many times farmers operate by instinct, habit, or tradition. If we aren't intentional about our choices, our farm will always function the way it has always functioned...which isn't always the best it can be.

A few strategic changes to the way we prioritize our time and efforts can make a world of difference in our farm's efficiency and long-term sustainability.

The third area where I support farmers is in restoring healthy boundaries and communication skills to prevent, reduce, and resolve conflict. Farm conflict comes in a million varieties and can include any number of people:

• Farm partners and staff

• Non-farming family

• Neighbors (both farming and non-farming)

• Service providers

• Regulatory agents

• Customers

• MORE!

Conflict with key people in our lives is exhausting. It leaves us feeling constantly alert, defensive, or aggressive. With the right skills, however, we can learn to prevent many types of conflict, keep ourselves calm when conflict is unavoidable, and learn to identify and express our needs in ways that are more likely to get them met.

It's your turn to talk!

I've talked enough...now I'd like to hear from you. Who are you? What kind of farming do you do? What are some of your highlights? Challenges?

What topics would you like me to cover in upcoming posts? (I will be posting here every other week to start. If you want more, let me know!)

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to connect with me using one of the following methods:

• Comment below

• Message me through the Contact page (and sign up for my weekly newsletter!)

• Visit me on any of our social media accounts (Links are at the bottom of the page.)

Welcome to the Pen Light Farm Family!